The unknown

Well as tough and heartless as I appear to be sometimes, or as I like to say confident. I have to admit, I'm kind of anxious, hesitant, and maybe just scared about some decisions we have made and are going to make.

1. We sold our truck! This is a good thing on paper, it has 156k miles on it and nothing has gone wrong on it. Which means something is right around the corner. Plus it only gets about 18-20mph and when gas returns to its $3-4 range we'll appreciate having sold it more. We sold it for $5300, that I'm a little disappointed in. Kelly Blue Book was way off in their valuation of the truck, but I couldn't really get any interest in it beyond that price. But here's what I'm kind of anxious about, change! I know the truck, inside out, I've worked on it and we've owned since day one. The next car, will be used and I'll have another learning curve.

2. We need to buy a replacement car! Now I have to get one that makes sense. Something with lower miles than the truck, one that gets 25mph-30mph, one without any major problems. You know how some cars are just known for their problems. Our Impala is known to eat coolant and ours is no exception. We've also got to get a good deal on it, or at least something under 6k which is what we saved up for plus the sell of the truck and taxes, registration.

Those two things alone are enough to make my mind a constant whirl of thoughts and emotions. It is tough to know if you're doing the right thing or not. I've prayed about it and feel good about the process but you just never know what the future holds until you're there.

3. The business! Man, just getting the designs for a business is crazy expensive! I am looking at the very real possibility of needing to spend 8-10k on this business just to see if it can be done! I always joke about wishing I had a trust fund, but seriously I am wishing I had a trust fund now. Talking with a friend Greg, I got an idea of what I'd need for the development of the land and structure about 6k, then talking with a design company for the business another 2-3k. It is that moment where you look up at a mountain and then to either side of it and try and figure out which way makes more sense or if you should turn around altogether. I don't want to lose, I don't want to make the wrong choice. I believe in the idea, but maybe not enough to put my money, fear and pride aside to continue.